How to Deal with Weight Gain in Recovery

Have you been gaining weight for recovery? Are you lost and need tips on how to deal with the weight gain?

These tips can be helpful for any weight gain like including HA and ED recovery, when bulking for adding muscle or if you have just been indulging in more food than normal and your pants are getting tight.

I am going to tell you a little bit of my backstory before going into the tips.
When I first found out that I may have to gain weight to get my period back it felt like I lost of piece of myself. I would read blog after blog of recovery stories and I would think “no way.” This is not me. I don’t have to do this.

I was so resistant at first I tried decreasing exercise and when that didn’t work I stopped resisting and made the decision I would gain and be confident in my decision. This part of recovery is by far the most difficult especially since my entire life I had tried to be a certain size and I was finally there. I went into panic mode. I am sure many of you can relate. You may have grown up and always struggled with your weight, have a history of always dieting or overexercising and may have never been satisfied with your body.

There were many many years I didn’t treat my body well. Not only through diet but the words I would use to talk about it. I always thought I could hate myself thin. I felt I wasn’t enough. I wanted to look in the mirror and be comfortable. I wanted to be able to buy any clothes and not worry that maybe they were too tight around my stomach or that my arms looked big in it.

It was ironic that when I was finally at a comfortable place that I needed to gain in order to improve my health. Once I decided to gain I made the decision to love and accept myself at all sizes. I am now bigger than I have ever been and I am a little uncomfortable because I have had to overshoot to get my body to a place that it is happy but make sure I am compassionate with myself. So now to provide you some tips and some actionable things you can do to deal with weight gain

Tip 1#: Commit to Loving Yourself No Matter What

My biggest tip is make the decision to commit to loving yourself no matter what happens. No matter what size you get to, if you get more cellulite or if you no longer fit in your favorite dress make sure that you are kind and caring to yourself. Negative self talk will get you nowhere and only increase your stress.

Tip #2: Create a Compelling Reason

I started recovery knowing I needed to get my period back for my health. It was not because I wanted to have kids. Initially my reason was that the sooner I start the sooner I can get back to lifting and my normal life again. Then I found out I had osteoporosis and that was the fire that really pushed me. Remind yourself that everything is temporary. This angst and stress and is not going to last forever.

Tip #3: Change Your Mindset

The key to dealing with weight gain is to change your mindset. Do this by changing your thoughts about it and your body. If you like mantras try creating some post its and leave them on the mirror and your fridge and start using these to change them. I would say you must look at these post daily if not a couple times a day in order to start changing those negative thoughts. I use “this is my recovering body” a lot and while you may not think that is very positive I personally couldn’t jump to I love my body and went with a more neutral thought. I have also been using thoughts like “I love this choice I made to improve my health” which is a true statement and I can feel good about it. I can use that thought because it truly makes me proud of myself and I do love that I am doing this for myself.

A few to try:

• This is my recovering body
• This is my body (more neutral)
• I love my new curves
• I love that I made this choice to improve my health
• This is exactly what my body needs
• I am doing this because….(fill in reason here)

Tip #4 Buy New Clothes and Stop Weighing Yourself

Buy New Clothes. Stop trying to squeeze into those old clothes. Donate your old ones and purchase new ones. Find clothes that make you feel confident and comfortable. Don’t weigh yourself it if it’s going to make you feel worse about yourself. The number on the scale does not matter!

Tip 5# Create a List of Reasons

Create a list of reasons why you are doing this. These are your reasons for recovery or weight gain. Do you want to have children, do you want your health back, do you want to live long and strong for your children, do you want to gain muscle? Do you want to get back to working out? Record all of these down and look at them on a daily basis.

Remember Weight Gain is NOT easy so don’t be hard on yourself!

You check out my YouTube Video on Dealing with Weight Gain which covers the tips above:

My Hypothalamic Amenorrhea Symptoms (Can You Relate?)

I have had a number of symptoms when I was at the peak of Hypothalamic Amenorrhea (HA) before I started recovery. At the time, I thought there was just something wrong with me. I thought that my body changed after kids and this was the new normal. Month after month I started to think maybe this isn’t normal.

Now everyone is different so don’t judge whether or not you have HA, by my symptoms but what I do think it is good to hear someone else’s symptoms to know that this isn’t normal and that maybe you do have HA..

The first big flag for me was how cold I was. I have always been cold but not to the extend that I was experiencing. Another big symptom I had was Digestive issues Issues and elevated Liver Enzymes. This goes without saying but libido seriously takes a hit when hormones are off. Sleep and Insomnia was another issue that would not go away. I was exhausted both mentally and physically because of the insomnia and because my body was crying out. I had body pains and recurring injuries that wouldn’t heal.
My brain was so foggy that some days I could’t think of words.

Do any of these symptoms sound familiar? Watch the video I made where I go into detail on each one of my physical symptoms.

Leave a comment if you shared some of these same symptoms and if and when they started to go away.

5 Tips to Start Hypothalamic Amenorrhea Recovery

Hi Everyone!  It’s been a long time I have posted and 3 .5 years after my last baby was born I am dealing with a new type of infertility.  Hypothalamic Amenorrhea!  The irony of never wanting my period to arrive and now I am praying to get it back.

I am currently working on recovering from HA (4 months all in) and I wanted to provide some tips if you are just starting your recovery journey from HA or your periods are starting to get sporadic.

I created a YouTube video on this topic if you would prefer to watch it here!

The first tip I have for your is to do your research:

I highly recommend Nicola Rinaldi’s book No Period Now what. The link to her site is here.  This book is the HA bible. There is no one more passionate with helping women get their cycles back than Nikola. She has a YouTube channel where she has a few videos and she has been on multiple podcasts. She has dedicated her life’s work to assisting and supporting women to get the periods back. I would be cautious with information overload when first diagnosed. It’s important to know that there is a lot of information out there that can be misleading or even damaging if you aren’t careful. Pay attention to the source of this information and make sure they are qualified to speak to it. I know that I turn to Dr. Google often but it can be slippery slope and you can end up spending hours obsessively looking for an answer or a quick fix.

Tip #2 Understand the Cause(s)

The second tip to start with recovery is to understand why you lost your period and when it happened. If you don’t know why you lost your period then it’s going to be really difficult to change the lifestyle behaviors to get it back or to understand the areas you need to work on. As I mentioned I don’t want to go into super detail in this video but the underlying cause will be some type of stress on your body. This stress is most likely related to an energy deficit caused by restriction on purpose or accidentally, it could be overexercise where your not fueling body and/or extreme stress added to the mix.

Tip #3  Don’t Compare

The third tip I have for you to start your recovery is DO NOT compare! This one is a non negotiable. I do think it is helpful to read stories about others that have gone through the same thing and got to the other side but I would be cautious because you can begin to hyper focus on how long it took others to recover, weight they put on to recover, how much they had to eat or if they could exercise to get it back. If you compare you are going to set yourself up for failure. You will look at those woman that only took 3 weeks to get it back that didn’t have to cut out exercise and only had to put on 2 lbs and you are going to beat yourself up when it takes you a lot longer or when you have to put on more weight and have to cut out all forms of exercise.

Tip #4 Find Support

The fourth tip I have for you is to find support. Support can look different for many people depending on your personality and where you are in life but I would recommend starting out with the HA support group that Nicola created.  If groups are triggering for you then drop out of it and consider some one on one support. If you need more you help on an individual basis you can sign up for coaching through Nicola and others like Kersten Kimura who I worked with.  There are also dietitians and counselors that can help you.

Tip #5 Create a Timeline for Going All In

I want you to create mini goals for yourself if you aren’t ready for the all at once approach. It may not be for everyone but I do think it can be helpful if you aren’t ready to jump all in or you are like most of us where the unknown of when you will get your period back will drive you crazy. What this is is if you aren’t ready to cut out exercise then give yourself a date when you will try to recover or slowly drop out days until your are “all in.

If you like these tips and would like more on HA or anything related make sure to sign up for updates.   What steps are you taking to recover?  Are there any other tips you have for newbies in this journey?  Good Luck.

Alana: 3 Month Update

I’m really late on this one.  Alana will be four months in a week!

Alana: 3 Month Update

This month consisted of lot’s more smiles, night wakings and me going back to work!

Height: Not sure.  I did not measure her!.

Weight: I’m not positive but I would bet around from 13.5 -14 pounds

Likes: She loves smiling, sucking on her hands and having us make funny noises.

Dislikes: She’s not a huge fan of car rides or being overtired.  Naps are still up there on her dislikes. She fights almost EVERY SINGLE NAP.

Firsts: First time away from Mommy for a full day and first time home with Daddy for a full day.  We had a few date nights and had a my mom, sister or sister in law watch her for a few hours.

 

Sleep:  We had a few sleep through the nights…like after her shots but that’s about it.  She seems to sleep worse now then she did her during her second month!  She is up anywhere from 1-3 times a night!  She is now full time in the Rock -n-Play for naps and night sleep.  She naps anywhere from 3-5 times a day. Typically is ready to go down by 7:3opm and we wake her at 6:15am.

Eating: She is still eating at about every 2-3 hours.  She got much better at the bottle the closer she got to me going back to work. She drinks about 3.5-4 oz bottles while I am away.

Diapers:  We have moved on to size twos and but totally lost count! I would say we went through around 150.  We are using size 3s for nights.

Clothes:  She is in 3-6 month clothes and I had to go out to buy some long sleeved onesies. All we had was lot’s of short sleeved ones.

Body and Mind after Baby #2: Two Months Postpartum

I wrote this one a few weeks ago but forgot to post. Alana will be Three months next week!

Mind:

I am feeling more and more like my old self physically and mentally.  There are days that I don’t get much sleep that I feel more edgy, stressed and sometimes a little down.    It just come with having a newborn though.  Having two definitely changes things and adds more pressure and stress but I am getting a lot of help from my husband and I feel like having two is feeling more like the norm now.  I am dealing with a lot of stress unrelated to baby so I think I am doing the best that I can mentally. My nutrition has been great. I am finally getting a healthy mindset with food and I eat a lot.  I am seeing the scale move and my measurements decrease.  Overall I feel good for the chaos some days are filled with!

Body (Please ignore the cheesy pics):

 

 

I am doing a lot more at home workouts because it is just easier.   I have been working out almost everyday and have been able to maintain a schedule despite not having a schedule if that makes sense. I work out in the mornings when I have the most energy.  I get to the gym 2-3 times a week but will be able to go 5-6 times a week once I go back to work.  I have a gym at work which I go during my lunch hour.  It helps a lot!  I plan to go to the gym probably on Sundays when I am back to work because we don’t have a squat rack at work.  Sundays are my favorite days to go to the gym since it is usually very quiet.

Nutrition-wise I have been consuming anywhere from 1,800-2000 calories a day.  I take a flexible dieting approach or IIFYM and consume mostly whole foods with a sprinkling of treats when I want.  I am small but breastfeeding and I have found these numbers work great for me and my activity and energy levels as well as maintaining a good milk supply.  I am seeing consistent results and will probably have to decrease as my weigh goes down.  I am about 5ish lbs away from my prepregnancy weight and hope to lose another 5lbs after that.  Once I get to my goal weight I do plan on doing a lean bulk to put on some muscle.  I know I can’t get muscle without some fat gain so it will be a challenge mentally but I look forward to reverse dieting and increasing calories.

I entered another competition this time around to help with motivation.  It’s James Wilson’s Body Earned program and I love the intensity and results I get from it.

 

Stats:

 

Goals for month 3:  Lift 5-6 days a week and limited cardio…mostly Hiit and tabata.

Alana: Two Month Update

Alana Update

Little lady is now two months old!  She is such a cutie and is really smiling a lot now.  There was a lot of improvement on the nighttime sleep this past month.  Naps on the other hand went down hill between 6-8 weeks.   Those two weeks were extremely trying as Alana was super fussy.  I remember Coen went through this and I think it was a mix between a wonder week and growth spurt.

Height:  22 3/4 inches

Weight: 13 lbs!

Likes: Singing, baths, talking, eating, cuddling and fighting naps!

Dislikes: Naps!  Being overtired and her car seat….

Firsts: Smile!!!

Sleep:

Nighttime:  Nights have significantly improved…..  We went from 1-2 wakings a night that she was up 1-2 hours to only one waking and she falls back to sleep much easier.  She is sleeping roughly from 9/10-3/3:30 and then once I feed her she sleeps until 6:30 when I wake her.  Over the next few weeks I am going to have to adjust this to 6am so I can get her ready for me to leave for work.

Naps:

Naps were tough this month.  If she is not in a room that is dark with a sound machine she tends to stay up.  She occasionally falls asleep in the swing.  She takes anywhere from 4-6 naps ranging from 30 minutes to 2.5 hours.  My attempt to get her on a schedule was an epic fail so I think I have given up.  I remember this happening with Coen and he fell into his own schedule around 4 months.

Eating:  Most of this month Alana was eating every 2 hours with an occasional 3 hours in between feedings.  Toward the end of the month it seems like we are getting more 3 hour intervals.  We still cluster feed at night and these are usually 4:30, 6:30 and then her last feeding is around 8:15.  She has a witching hour most nights between 7-8 so some nights I do feed her earlier.  This feeding may change if I start to put her down earlier.

Diapers:  We are using up the last of size 1’s and are moving on to size 2.  We use size 2 already at night because I usual don’t change her.  We went through 180 diapers this month.  I am using a lot less diapers with her than I did with Coen.  Second baby maybe?

Clothes:  She is still fitting in size 3 month clothes but I think she will be moving onto 6 month clothes fairly soon.  Most of our clothes are hand me downs so the onesies are pretty well shrunken.

 

Body and Mind after Baby #2: One Month Postpartum

Mind:

The first month has been far more stressful with Alana then it was with Coen for multiple reasons.  First off, she had her days and nights confused where she was up twice a night which isn’t bad but was taking about 1-2 hours to settle each time.  I was only sleeping about 4-5 hours at the most at night.  I also ended up having some issues with her latch and then getting mastitis.  Add on the holidays and then hosting 2 Christmases and then having more family coming to visit left me no time to rest up after the baby or while having an infection.  We have also been dealing with some financial stresses and had found out this month that unemployment benefits run out for my husband at the beginning of February.  A new baby, a cranky two year old and fear of how we will pay our bills on one salary left lots of room for stress.  There were multiple days I felt very depressed but it was definitely situational and not PPD.  I am trying to stay as positive as I can but some days are harder then others.  In the end, I know it will all work out and I know it has to get better from here.

Body:

I worked out until the day before the csection.  I kept lifting heavy weights and doing plyometric type cardio throughout pregnancy.  I definitely felt stronger this pregnancy then I did last one.  I struggled in the first trimester due to fatigue but still stuck through it.  I stopped going on the scale the last week or so because I was so done with pregnancy.  I was only sleeping 4-5 hours a night due to insomnia and didn’t need the added stress of seeing the number go up and up.  I think I gained about 28-29lbs compared to the 26 I gained with Coen.  I started a few pounds lighter so I think I ended up being about the same weight in the end.  Luckily, I did not get stretch marks again and besides the fading dark line and cesction scar I think I have minimum permanent signs of two pregnancies.  I account this to genetics and gaining weight slowly.  I am now left about 8-9lbs above prepregancy with another 5lbs to get to my pre-IVF and fertility meds weight.  While the scale is one way to measure progress I think the tape measure is much better.  I have more muscle left this time around so comparing I can only take the scale weight with a grain of salt.

 

One Month after Baby #1

vs #2

I am at about the same weight as I was one month postpartum last time but my stomach is definitely and the measurements prove that.  My stomach also has a different shape which is probably because it was stretched more and muscles are weaker after the second pregnancy.  I hope to see some progress in the stomach over the next month as this is my toughest area.

Measurements:

Workouts:

Around 3 weeks, I started with just walking on a treadmill since it is too cold to get out with the stroller.  I slowly progressed and added in some weights starting at 4 weeks. My plan is to do some light weights and low impact cardio until 6 weeks or so and then start the same program I did the last pregnancy.

Alana: One Month Update

Just like with Coen the first month has flown by like whirlwind.  The days and weeks have been going by so quickly.

Alana has already changed a lot over the past month.  She had a full head of hair but is getting the male pattern baldness look just like Coen did!  She is much more wakeful and coherent than those first few weeks.  She seems to have the same temperament as Coen at this point but I am sure she will start to show her true self over the next few months.  She is a little needier and her nighttime sleep is not as easy.  She has also been growing just as quickly as Coen and at 4 weeks she has put on some inches and lbs.

Height: 21.5 inches

Weight: 10 lbs 3.5 oz

Likes: Snuggling, baths, getting padded on the bum, staring into our eyes, bright lights, the Ergo and eating!

Dislikes: Touching her stomach, tummy time, settling after night feeds.

Firsts: Breath, Bath, Christmas, New Years

Sleep:   Alana had a very sleepy first few weeks and naps and nighttime sleep all blended into one.  At about 3 weeks she became much more wakeful and spent a lot of time just looking around.  She seems to have the day/night confusion like a lot of newborns have.  There were many nights she was waking to feed and it took almost 2 hours for her to settle and fall back asleep.  She has been waking about 2 times a night for most of the nights but there have been a few days she has only waken once a night.  She is a very noisy sleeper and definitely wakes me with her squawks and cries throughout the night.  We have gotten into a not so good habit of having her sleep in the swing the first part of the night.  She gives a good 4 (occasionally 5) hours if she does.  The rest of the night she spends in the rock and play and wakes after 2-3 hours.  When Coen was born I remember the pediatrician telling us just do what you have to do to make it through the first 3 months.  I am a little nervous about breaking her of the nighttime swing habit and will probably see how month 2 goes before trying anything to drastic.  I am not going to lie this first month was tough on the sleep front.  I could be up anywhere from 2-4 hours in the middle of the night with her and then up early because of a 2 year old who decided to start waking an hour earlier than normal caused some tough days.  We are doing the same routine where I feed her between 7:30-8:30 pm and then go right to bed.  My husband stays up with her for a bit to get her to sleep or to keep an eye on her if she decides to wake early.   This works great because I get a good solid 3-4 hour stretch without worrying if she is crying or that she will not go down when I am ready for bed.

Eating: Breastfeeding is going well. Alana latched on right away but we did have some troubles with my left breast.  She struggled with latching on after the first week because I became so engorged.  She would start nursing then fall off and cry.  I think this caused some of the nighttime disruption because she would get worked up.  I also got a lovely case of mastitis right before Christmas which was a lot of fun!  She nurses about 10-12 times a day with an average of 7 minutes a side most days.  She eats every 2-3 hours during the day.

We introduced a bottle once this month and she did great with no issues.  I have to get her used to them for when I go back to work so it’s just finding a time to give it.  I am currently pumping once in the morning to start my freezer stash again.

Diapers: We went through approximately 253 diapers this month. This number is a lot less than Coen’s was in the first month but probably because we don’t change her as much!  She is in size one still and I didn’t bother with newborn ones this time.

Clothes:  I put away her newborn clothes last week and she is now in 0-3 or 3 month clothes.  She has the same body type as Coen with little arms and legs but a big waist so some are a bit too long.  I keep her in sleepers most days because it’s just way easier.

Big Brother Update:  

Coen had a rough time when we first brought Alana home.  Before she was even born, he started skipping his nap out of the blue and became super fussy and was acting out. He stayed with my mom and my mother in law while we were in the hospital which threw him off and then we had all the holiday craziness which led to a pretty cranky toddler who was off his routine.  Luckily he now seems to adapted pretty well.  He tries to give her the pacifier, always looks for her in her swing or on the play mat if she is still sleeping.  Just recently he wanted to hold her in his lap but he will not hold her in his arms despite me asking.  He always points to her when we ask where his sister is and seems to already genuinely care about her.

Meet Alana Rose!

She’s here!   Well she will be 4 weeks tomorrow so this post is a little late but she has been keeping us busy.  Alana arrived at 1:34pm on December 10th and was just a tad bigger than her brother at 7lb 9oz and 19.5 inches.  She is absolutely perfect and looks so much like Coen as a newborn.

I did hope to have a VBAC but things did not go my way.  This pregnancy was a lot longer than Coen’s and at 41 weeks and 1 day it was decided that a C section would be my best option.  Although I was devastated with the news, things were different with this section.  I knew what to expect and it wasn’t at nearly midnight when I was completely exhausted.  I was the first one to hold her and she was placed on my chest as soon as she was pulled out and she remained there while I was “put” back together.  That experience made it feel less like an operation and more like a childbirth. The other unique thing was Coen was born 8 days early on 10/12 and Alana was 8 days late born on 12/10 so it just feels like it was meant to be.

I plan on posting her monthly updates as well as my postpartum ones just like I did for Coen.

 

 

 

 

 

Coen: 18 Month Update

Coen’s 18 month Update

We had a rough few weeks after dropping to one nap and decided he wasn’t ready.  He would cry constantly as soon as I picked him up from daycare.  I am not sure if it was the teething or the change of the schedule but after two weeks we went back to two naps.  He is still our little goofball making us laugh with the silly things he does.

Height:  32ish inches

Weight: 28ish lbs

New This Month:

•  Another molar has broke through
• Waving goodbye
• Pointing at everything saying “what’s that?”
• First Haircut!

Likes:  Sitting quietly and “reading”, being read to, climbing up on things and trying to get on the couch, Curious George books and cartoon, being outside and running around, hiding in Grandma’s cabinets.

Dislikes: Not enough sleep, being off his schedule, not getting his way or not paying enough attention to him

Sleep:  He is sleeping 7:30 to 6:30 and we went back to two naps a day after a rough two weeks of .  His nap tends to be 2 hours.

Eating:  He has 3 meals a day and 3 snacks. He is not a fan of meat like chicken but he still loves avocados, eggs, yogurt and fruits

Clothes:  24 Month pants and 24 and 2T shirts.  24 month shirts are becoming too small for his torso.