Meet Alana Rose!

She’s here!   Well she will be 4 weeks tomorrow so this post is a little late but she has been keeping us busy.  Alana arrived at 1:34pm on December 10th and was just a tad bigger than her brother at 7lb 9oz and 19.5 inches.  She is absolutely perfect and looks so much like Coen as a newborn.

I did hope to have a VBAC but things did not go my way.  This pregnancy was a lot longer than Coen’s and at 41 weeks and 1 day it was decided that a C section would be my best option.  Although I was devastated with the news, things were different with this section.  I knew what to expect and it wasn’t at nearly midnight when I was completely exhausted.  I was the first one to hold her and she was placed on my chest as soon as she was pulled out and she remained there while I was “put” back together.  That experience made it feel less like an operation and more like a childbirth. The other unique thing was Coen was born 8 days early on 10/12 and Alana was 8 days late born on 12/10 so it just feels like it was meant to be.

I plan on posting her monthly updates as well as my postpartum ones just like I did for Coen.

 

 

 

 

 

9dp5dt, Beta tomorrow and……

I did test on our anniversary at 5dp5dpt and much to my surprise and excitement I saw a very faint line!!!  Beta is tomorrow and tests have been getting darker.  I am in shock!  Tests are from Monday and Tuesday.  Eeek

 

A Year to remember…..2013

A sad end to last year brings a happy end to this year.  Few words can describe what a great year this was……..

FET #3 (IVF #5) = First Positive

Healthy heartbeat and baby….

4 Weeks pregnant

Third Trimester

35 Weeks….

Last week of pregnancy (38 weeks)…….

Our boy arrives….

Love at first sight….

First Pics…..

One Month Old…

Two Months Old…

Christmas Card Cameo….

Coen’s First Christmas…..

Hoping 2014 brings just as much joy to us and to all.  Happy New Year!!!

Back at the Gym ~ Insecurities Post Baby ~ 7 weeks postpartum

I’ve had a bunch of posts that I have started and just not had the time to finish.  It seems I will start one and then I get caught up in feedings, diaper changes, baby cuddles, etc.  Coen has had quite a fussy day so with the advice of my husband I have locked myself away for a little down time which means I can actually finish one of my half written posts!

Although I was just “released” to exercise last Wednesday, I started going to the gym 4 weeks postpartum.  Yeah, it was probably stupid but I listened to my body and was very, very cautious.  A C-section is not something you want to mess with but yet I can’t sit still and getting to the gym was probably the only time I could force myself away from the baby.  It’s funny because those first few days\weeks after baby you think you look great.  You are so used to this huge old belly that your now shrunken belly makes you think you look so small…..then a few weeks pass by and that soft post baby belly does not look so good to you anymore.

Working out while pregnant made me feel so strong and confident.  At the gym, people were just amazed that the 38 week pregnant lady was doing barbell step ups and bicep curls!  Now I am just back to the old Kim with only the remnants of the pregnancy left.  The first day back at the gym I felt ok.  I was just happy to be back at the gym and then I started getting self conscious.  I started to struggle to find something to wear to the gym and started talking myself out of even going.  I was discouraged that I couldn’t do much there and worried about what people thought of me.  I wanted to write “Just had a baby 6 weeks ago” across my forehead so people would know why I was so weak and looked the way I did.  I have always been someone to know my way around the gym and have always been confident in what I was doing there.  I started second guessing my form, worried about how my squishy belly stuck out so much when I would bend over and just became overly self conscious.  I knew I would not be one of these women that was back to pre-pregnancy size right away because I have ALWAYS had to work hard to get in shape.

In my head, I still feel like the old me…..the pre-IVF me….the one in this picture….but when I look in the mirror it is much different.

2011 – Pre-TTC

I am using the picture above and a few others as my motivation to get back to where I was before all the IVFs and pre-TTC.

Now these feelings and insecurities have not completely gone away over the past 3 weeks but they are slowly diminishing.  Between everything my body has been through, the hormones that are still surging through it and the lack of sleep no wonder I am not feeling 100%.  I mean really…… in the grand scheme of things I should be proud I am even back to the gym this early and to be honest I am proud of myself for that.  Most of all I am proud of the journey it took to even get here….to become a mom.  Getting back into shape is just another hurdle or challenge that I have to go through which keeps things interesting…..

38 weeks Pregnant vs 5 weeks Postpartum

Welcome Coen Thomas!

I just logged in and realized it has been over 6 months since my last post and so much has happened.  Between the pregnancy, traveling, moving, living with the in-laws, finding a new home, moving again, work and a million other things, I lost track of time and stopped posting.  I really wish I kept it up so I would have a log of my pregnancy.  But….no time for regrets.  On October 12th (8 days early), we welcomed the most precious gift into the world.  Our son was born via C-Section (more to come on this) weighing 7lbs 7oz and 19 inches long.  He didn’t arrive the way we expected but he is perfect.  My feelings towards him are indescribable.  I never realized I could have so much love for someone I had never met.  All the struggles, tears, pain and frustration were all worth it beyond a doubt.  I feel like a different person……like I have changed….for the better.  He is my life and my everything.  He’s our little miracle.

I really hope to start blogging again.  I would love to post on my pregnancy, my postpartum body and mind and life with a newborn.  And if we happen to try for #2 in a year then I am sure I will need a place to get out all my feelings!

So much going on……

As I said in the last post, there is so much going on.  I finally finished my class and will be taking time off from school.  I just had a presentation at work this morning that I had been dreading for the past month.  It feels like such a relief to have that done. We have announced to the rest of our family about the little one and I am now 13 weeks!  We put our house on the market in February and within a month had an offer and we accepted.  We are now closing on May 3rd but have not found a new home yet!  We will be moving in with the in-laws until we can find one….sooo that has been top priority!

This Friday we are flying to Nashville for a wedding…….

the weekend after we are moving, the weekend after we are closing on the house and the weekend after that we are going to Vegas for my brother’s wedding!  I am pretty sure time is going to fly by with all that is happening and before we know it it will be time for our gender scan!  I hope to get some good pics in Nashville and I am excited for some yummy food and seeing a great couple tie the knot.

A crazy week…

Time has been flying and we have so much exciting things going on.

The past week was full of Whoopie Pies from a local expo….

A first birthday…..

Baby’s first gift…..

A cruel practical joke to the biggest Red Sox fan I know and my cube mate (I wasn’t a part of this one)….

and announcing to my sister-in-laws and niece.

So much more has happened and will happening in the next few weeks and hopefully I will have more time to update…..

It’s Official……Due on My Birthday!

Tuesday was a great day.  We had our NT Screening Ultrasound and it was our first meeting with the OB.  The place I am going seems to be a bit unorganized, as far as the receptionist communicating to Dr.’s and nurses, but all the people there are really nice and I especially love the midwife I met last week.  The ultrasound went well.  She was having a hard time getting measurements because the little one was napping.  She kept poking at him/her and finally he/she woke up.  The baby started bouncing around and she could finally get the measurements which was all under the 2.5mm that they like to see.  It was a relief and it was great to see the baby again.  This was the first time the hubby saw the baby all active.  Once we waited a good 30 minutes to see the OB she came in, asked some questions, did some measurements and tried the doppler and within seconds we heard the baby’s heartbeat!  She said at this point the miscarriage risk is so low that we should feel confident to tell the world!  I think hearing that made us both feel like wow this could really be it.  We have decided to tell the rest of our family either this weekend or next.  They finally got my original ultrasounds back and notes from the fertility clinic which put my official due date on my birthday October 20th! I know that the chance that the baby will be born on the actual due date is so low but what an amazing birthday present I am getting.  I love the fall and October.  I think it is the perfect time for our little one to be born.

MIA ~ 10 weeks

I have been MIA lately.  I just feel like I have been holding my breath since I had the positive test.  Finally, I feel like I am getting closer and closer to the safe zone!  I will be 11 weeks tomorrow (going by transfer day).  My due date is still up in the air.  The OB office still haven’t gotten my ultrasounds from the clinic.  They said once they get them they will use the 8 week one to date the pregnancy.  It will probably be the day of my birthday or a few days before.  Best birthday gift ever!  I had my first appointment at the OB’s office.  I saw the midwife and I am so happy with her.  We had a really good connection.  After spending a year with my RE,  I was sad to go.  I had the normal exam, pap etc.  She said she would try the doppler to see if we could hear a heartbeat.  Of course I was all for this but after 3-4 minutes and not hearing anything I started freaking out.  My midwife could tell I was anxious and said she was going to go grab the portable ultrasound machine.  She said I would see that baby some way or another.  She brought it in and found the little one quickly.  We saw the beautiful heart beating and he/she was jumping around in there.  It was such a relief.  Since then I feel like this finally may be it….our take home baby.  Next week is the NT Scan and I will make sure to post the u/s pics after.  Soon enough I will have to start posting bump pictures as well.  I have lost a lot of muscle from not lifting but my weight is probably still the same.  So I may have gained a pound or two.

I have been struggling with food still.  I feel great when I eat clean but lately I have been giving in to the cravings, having lots of food with gluten and then find myself sick for days after.  I decided I just need to accept I can’t tolerate that food and I need to do what is best for the baby.  Having a treat here or there is fine it’s the overindulging that gets to me! I have been walking or occasionally doing the elliptical.  I do not want to take any risks and I am looking forward to the second trimester when I can really get back to my normal (modified) routine.   I have been doing this workout from Ashley’s blog.  It is perfect because I can adjust the incline accordingly depending how I am feeling.

A trip to the ER and Ultrasounds

It has been 2 weeks since my last post.  I have been a ball of anxiety and fear and just couldn’t focus to put my thoughts down and write a post.  It was a crazy stressful few weeks but things seem to be getting a little calmer now.  I hope it only gets easier or less eventful from here.  Last Saturday after days of spotting and then increasing cramping my clinic finally told me to go to the ER.  I was so sure it was the end.  I was a mess and thought it was all over.  Thankfully they got me in fairly quickly and were very kind.  The hubby was working but ended up meeting me right before they wheeled me in to get the ultrasound.  It was perfect timing and I was so excited he could be there for our first ultrasound…good or bad.   Luckily it was good….we saw one beautiful baby and heartbeat.  I was almost 6 weeks.  It made me feel better to see the baby and heartbeat but my release notes of “threatened abortion” didn’t make me feel entirely better.

I got a call from the clinic on Monday checking in on me.  My Dr was out the week it happened which explained the lack of response when I was complaining about the spotting.  They set me up with an early ultrasound on Wednesday.  I was about 6 weeks 3 days and measured about 6 weeks and day.  I seem to be measuring a few days behind still which they don’t seemed too concerned about.  They found a hematoma (SCH) and she mentioned something about the placenta may have pulled away a little which caused the spotting.  To be honest, I was so stressed that nothing she said really stuck.  We did see a heartbeat which measured 115bpm.  I was a little concerned about it being low but for 6 weeks she didn’t seem to think it was bad.  I don’t think there will ever be a point I don’t find a reason to worry.  I have not been put on bed rest and have not really been told to restrict activity.  The spotting and cramping seem to be gone which have given me some comfort.  But I know we are not out of the water and I am of course still worried about a possible loss.  We will be going back in a week from tomorrow for another ultrasound and then possibly be released to the OB.  Here’s the pic of our little one!