A sad end to last year brings a happy end to this year. Few words can describe what a great year this was……..
FET #3 (IVF #5) = First Positive
Healthy heartbeat and baby….
4 Weeks pregnant
Third Trimester
35 Weeks….
Last week of pregnancy (38 weeks)…….
Our boy arrives….
Love at first sight….
First Pics…..
One Month Old…
Two Months Old…
Christmas Card Cameo….
Coen’s First Christmas…..
Hoping 2014 brings just as much joy to us and to all. Happy New Year!!!
I had a spotting scare yesterday. As soon as I noticed it I called the clinic and left a message. I also had mild cramping. All I could think about was that I was losing the baby. I didn’t get a call back for about an hour and she just told me to take it easy, no heavy lifting and she would leave a note for the Dr. I finally started to relax when the spotting went away but still feeling mildly crampy. I know spotting can be normal in early pregnancy but it doesn’t make it any less stressful. I will be going in for beta #3 tomorrow and I am hoping my number looks good. At that point they will give me a date for an ultrasound.
Yesterday and today I woke up to more snow!
After the spotting scare, I hit the couch and barely moved from it and then hubby came home with these!
For dinner we had scallops, lamb, asparagus and butternut squash all made by my love. I took a picture of his plate. The piece of lamb I had was well done and to be honest grossed me out. I must be getting some food aversions because even thinking about the smell and taste of lamb is making me sick to my stomach. Ewww even this picture is making me nauseous. The scallops were amazing though. 
And this morning I woke up and made myself oatmeal pancakes with a little bit of Sunbutter and syrup. They were so good. The only problem when I make oatmeal pancakes over regular oatmeal is I am starving 2 minutes later. It’s kind of like Chinese food. I wanted to start my morning with something on the healthy side. The past few weeks I have been overindulging in lots of bad food. Going back to being good today!
Happy Valentines Day!!!! We don’t really celebrate the day so Doug will be going to hockey tonight and I will be doing homework and hitting bed early. Tomorrow I will officially 5 weeks. So far I am feeling pretty good. I am tired but still chugging along. I went in for my second beta on Monday which was 428! So the doubling time was 42ish hours and I think they like to see it at least between 48-72. I am finally getting more comfortable with this pregnancy and my constant fear of it being taken away has decreased a little after the second beta. I go back in again next Monday for my last beta and then they will book an ultrasound. My betas are on the higher end but not extremely high which would almost guarantee me twins. It could go either way at this point. I am just hoping for one strong little one in there. My RE was concerned with my size and having twins. I KNOW it is possible but I would like the least risk pregnancy I could get. That being said I will be happy either way. Just ready to find out!
I can’t believe the weekend is almost here! Last weekend was our celebratory weekend and we also had snow, snow and more snow.
There was so much snow when I woke up Saturday morning I literally had to toss Duncan outside because the snow was over his head! He wasn’t so helpful while I shoveled the back deck.
Now this was not a fun task but the hubby did most of the front because the snow blower died so I felt like I should help out. It was light snow so it was more time consuming than anything. Luckily a neighbor let him borrow their snow blower the next day so he could do the other half. Isn’t that what always happens? The snow blower dies on the day of a blizzard.
FET #3 Update
Last March was our first wedding anniversary and we somehow forgot to have a slice of our wedding cake. We went on a cruise to celebrate and it was right before we had started our first IVF. Once we realized we forgot it just seemed silly to have any. Since we were just about to have our first IVF cycle I had said when I found out I was pregnant we would celebrate by having our wedding cake. We didn’t expect that it would take long. Maybe just one or two cycles. That was almost a year ago. This cake has been through a lot. There is not much left of it because our freezer went after a storm last year and stinky fish melted onto the bottom half of the cake. We salvaged what we could. 5 IVF cycles and 23 months later I am happy to say that we will be having a slice of that cake today. I got the call yesterday from my Dr. that I am officially pregnant! My beta was 134 and she seemed extremely happy with this. I will be going from beta #2 on Monday and if those numbers are good I will go back in a week from then for beta #3. If everything looks good first ultrasound will be at 6.5 weeks.
FET #3 Update
After seeing that second beautiful line Monday I went to bed super early but woke throughout the night with a fear. Fear that it would be the same as last time and I would test and see only one line. Every night I have tossed and turned still feeling so worried that the line wouldn’t be darker. After dealing with IF you can’t just enjoy seeing that second line like other women. There is a constant fear that what you worked so hard to get will be taken away from you. I feel as one weight lifted another was replaced. Don’t get me wrong I am beyond overjoyed. I am the happiest I have been in years!
I got my official “pregnant” today on a digital! It made me feel like this could be it! My estimated due date is October 18th which is two days before my birthday. This will be the best gift I have ever gotten. Beta was supposed to be Saturday but with the huge storm coming I was able to call it and bump it up for tomorrow!!!! I am very excited to hear what the number is and to finally hear them call and tell me I am pregnant! Do I have enough exclamation points in this post? Nooooo!!!!!!
FET #3 Update
Yesterday was miserable I cried on the way to the grocery store, held it back in the store as we passed by families, infants and the baby food section but broke down into huge sobs as soon as we left. I told myself we would never have what they have. I knew this cycle failed. I made the hubby discuss what we would do next….adoption or another cycle. I started mentally figuring out finances and how we could not attend one of the weddings we were invited to. I was so sure it failed I had 2 glasses of wine. You can imagine my disbelief this morning. I just wanted to test knowing it was real early to get it out of my system. I figured if it was BFN then I would wait till Thursday to test again. The first test was FMU and I thought I was imagining I saw a line. There was no denying it when I took another test. It is light but it is there. I can’t believe it…..I AM PREGNANT!
FET #3 Update
The lack of symptoms has me scared to death. Last cycle with the chemical I had these twinges and flutters at 4-5dp5dt and I knew I was pregnant but this time feels like all the other failed cycles. My body just feels quiet. I really had hope this time with the diagnosis of endometritis and the antibiotic regiment I was put on. I KNOW it is still early and I have not given up hope entirely but I am just feeling out already. I have had no symptoms, no cramps, no pokes or twinges. I only had a minor backache yesterday but that was just from tweaking it some how and I am no longer feeling that. I hope I am wrong. I hope I get to be one of these women that said they had no symptoms during the TWW but this feels all to familiar. I just don’t know how I am going to get through the next week feeling like this. Now I am second guessing what we will do next. Should we go straight to adoption and save ourselves some heartache of more failed cycles? Our next step was to do PGD testing of the embryos but that is still 2 more cycles. One a fresh IVF with a freeze all after testing and then a FET with the “normal” embryos. So that FET probably wouldn’t even be till the summer. I haven’t tested and to be honest I don’t even know if I want to. Seeing a BFN everyday is extremely painful. Maybe I should just wait till Friday or Saturday and test right before the beta. It is just miserable sitting at work trying to not think about that wretched negative HPT that you took earlier that morning. Sigh.
FET #3 Update
Yesterday was transfer day and it was probably the best transfer I have had yet! They were late as usual in the clinic and they had us come in and wait in the area where the retrieval patients were. I heard the nurse talking to the only retrieval patient of the day saying it was a busy day with all the transfers and the women says I hope all those transfers end up with great results to start the week off right. I thought it was such a selfless comment. How many woman can just come out of retrieval and be wishing a bunch of other women will get pregnant?
I really was the perfect transfer. I have a retroverted uterus so they usually have trouble getting the catheter just right. This time it took one try and the 2 blasts were transferred. He said we hit the “jackpot” with the two expanding blasts. But it isn’t the first time he has said this but I don’t care because I have hope that this will be the one. I have been a couch potato yesterday and today and will try to keep it a low key, easy weekend. I feel very relaxed this time. Maybe it is because I have been through this so many times, maybe I know it will work or maybe I just haven’t gotten to my typical breakdown time of 4-5dp5dt. Only time will tell. Beta is a week from Saturday and I just hope I get some sign of implantation like the flutters I got last time. I really, really hope this is it!
FET #3 Update
I had the lining check yesterday and my lining was 8.2 which was good enough to start me on the progesterone. I started last night and this morning I feel like I got hit by a Mack truck I am so tired. I have been doing alright on the Estrace. There have been no late night searching for whoopie pies so that is a good thing. I have just been extremely tired and have had on and off headaches. Of course feeling like I have PMS x 100 is not exactly fun but I have made it through before I can make it through again. Just hoping the hubby and the dog can deal with my crankiness for a few more weeks or hopefully months. I had Monday off for the holiday but for some reason this week felt long but also flew by at the same time. Does that even make sense?
I keep going back and forth whether I have hope for this cycle or not. One second I feel like this could be finally it and then the other times I feel like that we have done it four times before so why would this one result in a different outcome? I do keep thinking back of that one very light positive I had…..and then I second guess myself thinking maybe it was just an evap line or something. I have lot’s of things coming up in a few months which is why it would be perfect for this one to work. We wouldn’t have to worry about another fresh IVF and dishing out 5K for PGD testing. We have a wedding in April in Nashville and my brother’s wedding in Vegas in May. We are also considering putting our house on the market all while going through IVF, taking a class and trying to stay sane! Just been feeling a lot of weight on my shoulders.
The good news is transfer is this Wednesday! I can’t believe it is finally here. I will be taking off Wednesday and Thursday to just sit on my butt and let the little one(s) snuggle in. I am excited and scared all at the same time. Now I just need this weekend to fly by and Wednesday to be here!
FET #3 Update
Friday is my lining check. Things feel like they are happening so quickly. This past week flew because I have been straight out at work on a project. I have still been getting get my workouts in and taking at least one day off a week to rest. I will probably cut out lifting at the end of this week and just stick to walking at a moderate pace. This is the part that always kills me. I LOVE working out and feel amazing when I do. When I have to cut it out completely for 2-3 weeks I start feeling awful. Of course a baby is way more important but the fact is this is round #5. At this point we are close to the end of our IVF journey and I have already done this four times before with nothing to show for it. So when you get nothing out of IVF except some tears and maybe a little more dignity taken away it’s hard for me to say it’s worth it to get nothing.
I have been on Estrace for a week now and am just at the point to start feeling the side effects. Cranky, depressed, bloated and insomnia oh my. I have been eating very healthy and besides the drugs my body feels the best I have felt in a long time. I just hope the stress doesn’t catch up to me and throw me off. It has been much easier now that the hubby has been eating good in the New Year. I am pretty sure he gained some IVF weight as well.
Last Weekend Eats
It has been awhile since I posted and another weekend has almost gone by but here is some tasty eats from last weekend. Last Sunday we had Grass Fed Beef Tenderloin that was marinated in Terriyaki Marinade and Zucchini Sticks! Yum! These pics don’t look so appetizing but dinner was really good.
Next time I need a dipping sauce for the zucchini….maybe marinara or healthy ranch dressing? Tonight we will be trying Eggplant Fries. Hmmm…..sounds interesting and I bet they will be really good.
Baby Steps to Balance 