ACCEPTING WEIGHT GAIN – How to Improve Your Body Image at Any Size

How is your relationship with yourself? Do you look in the mirror and say positive things? Or are you one to beat yourself up when it comes to how you look?

Me soon after the Baby was born

Today I wan to talk to you about accepting your body where it’s currently at. Not where you want it to be. Not 5 lbs ago. There are lots of lessons I have learned in recovery while deliberately putting on weight. No matter what your goals are it’s important to accept your body at every stage because there will always be things you can’t control about the way you look. If you are always hating your body because it’s not skinny enough, you don’t have enough muscle or for any other then I’m talking to you and I bet you are sick of always worrying and stressing about it.

I’ve made drastic improvements on how I talk to myself and I am much more neutral and accepting about my body now but this stuff takes work. It’s so sad but I recall that every birthday as a little girl I wished I was skinny. Every time I threw a coin into a wishing well I wished I was skinny. I envied my friends and their flat stomachs. I lived my life around getting that ideal body and wanted to hide the body I was in. If you had asked me what is the worse thing that can happen in life I would tell you it was to gain weight.

I remember being so angry at my body and wished I could just cut my fat off my stomach. Then I would be so much happier. I finally got to that place where I was super thin and guess what? It was too much for my body to handle. I lost my period. I found out I had osteoporosis Is that worth it? Definitely Not! I had to spend every moment fixated on working out and eating right. I made fitness my priority. My quality of life sucked.

Photo by Public Domain Pictures from Pexels

I understand weight loss can feel addictive. It’s a high when you step on that scale and see a lower weight but your weight does not define who you are or does not dictate how happy you can be. The one person that gets to make that choice is you.

Mindset Shifts Take Time

The number one thing that you need to do for yourself is to be kind and be patient. This stuff takes time. During this process you need to do the work. This is going to be something you do on a daily basis. As you improve your relationship with your self and the way you view the way you look then it will start to get easier and you will need to focus less on it. Just like working out doesn’t get you muscle overnight changing your body image and your confidence about your body doesn’t change overnight.

If you truly want to find a place of food freedom, freedom from the scale and endless hours in the gym to restore your health and period you need to get to a place of acceptance If you feel good about yourself you are going to be confident and you won’t be worrying about that damn scale being an extra few or 5 or ten pounds higher and you can start living your life.

My Top 5 Tips to Gain Confidence in Your Body and Accept Weight Gain

Tip #1 Is to surround yourself with other people that are positive.

If it is triggering for you to be around friends that only talk about how they are fat or need to lose weight or even the new diet they are on then avoid them. I know it may be hard but it’s not forever. This also means the people you follow on social media. If you are following people that are really lean or extremely muscular and don’t portray a body type you could have without going to extremes then you need to stop following them. They are going to make you feel worse about yourself and make you think that being that lean is attainable and healthy. Yes, some woman can be naturally very thin but that is not the case with most women.

Tip #2 Wear Clothes That Fit and Flatter You

There is nothing worse than trying to squeeze your body into pants or clothes that don’t fit or are unflattering for your body. You will never be confident and accepting of your body if your clothes are too snug or you feel depressed after you try and put your clothes on. Stop wearing the baggy shirts and leggings. Try to find clothes that flatter your new body. Follow body friendly fashion models to come up with ideas.

Photo by Mariana Kurnyk from Pexels

Tip #3 Stop Body Checking

Don’t hone in on one area of your body especially the areas you like the least. If you are body checking and looking in a mirror see yourself as a whole person not that one area. Speaking of body checking just stop doing it. Don’t let those moments set you off and ruin your entire day by focusing in on areas that you wish to change or that have recently changed. It doesn’t feel good to pick yourself apart in the mirror

Tip #4 Changing Your Thoughts

Recognize your thoughts and how they are making you feel. Those negative thoughts aren’t going to go away overnight but it’s all in how you react to them. It’s about learning to hear them and move past them without letting them affect you. If you really want to take this a step further going through the process of changing your thoughts is super helpful.
If you can’t jump to I have a beautiful body go through the process of getting to a neutral place first. This is where I started. I would see myself in the mirror gaining weight and I would think I’m getting so big and I would start to replace it with:

• This is my body.
• This is my recovering body.
• This is what a body looks like that is trying to restore hormones.
• This extra weight is exactly what I need.
• This is exactly what I am trying to do.
• This is what a healthy body looks like.
• It’s possible I could I could love my body.

Tip #5
Let go of judgement.

Stop judging yourself and others. Most of the time if you are having thoughts about others and their weight gain or body composition it is because you are insecure about yourself. Ask yourself, do you honestly think you will have people’s approval if you are thinner? If the answer is yes then you either have a distorted sense of truth or you are correct and these people are not worth your time. If we are picking apart other people we don’t feel good about it later on. If you say good things about others and appreciate them for other aspects besides their bodies its easier to find good things about ourselves as well.

Remember this stuff doesn’t happen overnight. Be patient with yourself .

Weight Gain In HA Recovery

Don’t Have Recovery Weight Expectations

Recently I posted on my IG stories how I was having a such a tough time with weight gain. I went out to buy clothes and it was awful. Nothing fit. So why was it bothering me so much? I am not meeting expectations that I should have never set with myself. I keep setting myself up for failure because I was setting an expectation to be recovered at a certain weight. This weight was a number that I had gotten pregnant at a number I had cycled at with no issues. At first it was a certain number on the scale. Once I got there I got panicked and I then set another number to try to not bypass which was a BMI of 22 the fertile BMI which is recommended in recovery. I got there and then I kept gaining and I was like “No, I can’t gain anymore!” but I could still fit in a certain size jeans so I was OK with it. And then guess what? I gained even more weight and I no longer fit in that size and this is what really pushed me over the edge. I am now over the 22 BMI and I am no longer fitting in the size I wore after I had a damn baby.

Your Body Decides Your Recovery Weight

All this goes back to my body either doesn’t feel comfortable yet or still has more repairing to do. This takes time. The more days that pass the stronger I get. So I keep going. Even if you feel like giving up on where you are on your journey don’t give up. Weight gain is tough. This is all about perseverance. In a blink of an eye it will be another year and you will be restored and it will all be a distant memory. Think back to something you regret. You don’t want this to be that. Be strong and keep going.

The fact that I have gained this amount of weight and I still don’t have a period is telling me I am not recovered yet. I am close to the highest weight I have ever been at. I have probably overshot by now but that shouldn’t matter but let’s be honest it feels like it does. It doesn’t feel good to put on clothes and be spilling out of them but let’s talk about that.

What are You Making Weight Gain Mean?

Let’s talk really about what you are making it mean. What does it mean to you that you have gained weighted? Are you making it mean you let yourself go? Is the problem the weight or is it truly the thought around what you are making it mean? Are you making it mean you aren’t worthy anymore. That you aren’t beautiful? Are you worried about what others are thinking of you?

My guess there are two big things here. One you are worried about what others think which I will cover in a future blog post and the second thing is you are probably upset with what you are making this mean. So ask yourself what are you making it mean? Write down why it is bothering you and take a good look at these reasons.

You are Not the Number on the Scale

Remember you are not your weight. I guarantee if you were to describe yourself or someone else it would not be by what they looked like. You would say that they are a great friend and great listener. Or maybe you would mention their funny sense of humor. You would describe who they are as a person. Gaining weight does not change who you are. It only makes you better and stronger for wanting to better yourself. Even if you are not recovering and maybe you are just gaining weight who cares?

There is a saying that “What you resist persists.” What needs to happen is you need to let go of who you think you are supposed to be and look like. If you are resisting this weight gain it is going to resurface two fold. If you aren’t allowing your body to recover and you are still holding on to having that lean physique you won’t get out of this. These expectations will set you up for failure and disappointment. You yes you are all about what is on the inside not the outside.

During recovery, we have a distorted view of what we see as normal. I am not going to go into all the diet industry and that BS because I think we already know that. But normal is what is healthy for you and no one else. Others may be able to be at 15% body fat and cycle but that is not you or they may be able to be that low of body fat and feel good. It’s OK to gain weight. I am giving you approval to and it’s also OK not to feel great about it all of the time. This is about accepting your feelings about it and to try and make improvements. Body’s have seasons. You may have a fit season, you may have a postpartum season you may have a prenatal season. There are times in your life that you don’t have the time to exercise or worry about your weight and times you are super fit. This is your recovery body. Love it for all it does for you.

Thanks for reading and let me know you deal with weight gain in recovery.

How to Deal with Weight Gain in Recovery

Have you been gaining weight for recovery? Are you lost and need tips on how to deal with the weight gain?

These tips can be helpful for any weight gain like including HA and ED recovery, when bulking for adding muscle or if you have just been indulging in more food than normal and your pants are getting tight.

I am going to tell you a little bit of my backstory before going into the tips.
When I first found out that I may have to gain weight to get my period back it felt like I lost of piece of myself. I would read blog after blog of recovery stories and I would think “no way.” This is not me. I don’t have to do this.

I was so resistant at first I tried decreasing exercise and when that didn’t work I stopped resisting and made the decision I would gain and be confident in my decision. This part of recovery is by far the most difficult especially since my entire life I had tried to be a certain size and I was finally there. I went into panic mode. I am sure many of you can relate. You may have grown up and always struggled with your weight, have a history of always dieting or overexercising and may have never been satisfied with your body.

There were many many years I didn’t treat my body well. Not only through diet but the words I would use to talk about it. I always thought I could hate myself thin. I felt I wasn’t enough. I wanted to look in the mirror and be comfortable. I wanted to be able to buy any clothes and not worry that maybe they were too tight around my stomach or that my arms looked big in it.

It was ironic that when I was finally at a comfortable place that I needed to gain in order to improve my health. Once I decided to gain I made the decision to love and accept myself at all sizes. I am now bigger than I have ever been and I am a little uncomfortable because I have had to overshoot to get my body to a place that it is happy but make sure I am compassionate with myself. So now to provide you some tips and some actionable things you can do to deal with weight gain

Tip 1#: Commit to Loving Yourself No Matter What

My biggest tip is make the decision to commit to loving yourself no matter what happens. No matter what size you get to, if you get more cellulite or if you no longer fit in your favorite dress make sure that you are kind and caring to yourself. Negative self talk will get you nowhere and only increase your stress.

Tip #2: Create a Compelling Reason

I started recovery knowing I needed to get my period back for my health. It was not because I wanted to have kids. Initially my reason was that the sooner I start the sooner I can get back to lifting and my normal life again. Then I found out I had osteoporosis and that was the fire that really pushed me. Remind yourself that everything is temporary. This angst and stress and is not going to last forever.

Tip #3: Change Your Mindset

The key to dealing with weight gain is to change your mindset. Do this by changing your thoughts about it and your body. If you like mantras try creating some post its and leave them on the mirror and your fridge and start using these to change them. I would say you must look at these post daily if not a couple times a day in order to start changing those negative thoughts. I use “this is my recovering body” a lot and while you may not think that is very positive I personally couldn’t jump to I love my body and went with a more neutral thought. I have also been using thoughts like “I love this choice I made to improve my health” which is a true statement and I can feel good about it. I can use that thought because it truly makes me proud of myself and I do love that I am doing this for myself.

A few to try:

• This is my recovering body
• This is my body (more neutral)
• I love my new curves
• I love that I made this choice to improve my health
• This is exactly what my body needs
• I am doing this because….(fill in reason here)

Tip #4 Buy New Clothes and Stop Weighing Yourself

Buy New Clothes. Stop trying to squeeze into those old clothes. Donate your old ones and purchase new ones. Find clothes that make you feel confident and comfortable. Don’t weigh yourself it if it’s going to make you feel worse about yourself. The number on the scale does not matter!

Tip 5# Create a List of Reasons

Create a list of reasons why you are doing this. These are your reasons for recovery or weight gain. Do you want to have children, do you want your health back, do you want to live long and strong for your children, do you want to gain muscle? Do you want to get back to working out? Record all of these down and look at them on a daily basis.

Remember Weight Gain is NOT easy so don’t be hard on yourself!

You check out my YouTube Video on Dealing with Weight Gain which covers the tips above: